Instrument No. 001 · Caffeinated · Liquid
Positive
carry.
A performance-grade stimulant, structured as a daily position. 200 milligrams of clean focus, zero sugar, settled T+0 to your central nervous system.
The fact sheet
EX. AInvestment thesis
§ 01———
Asset class: stimulant
Strategy: long focus
Horizon: one workday
Conviction: high
The market for staying sharp is inefficient. The desk runs on burnt cold brew, a sugar position that gets margin-called at 2:30pm, and pre-workout that tastes like a compliance violation. CARRY is the cleaner trade.
Two hundred milligrams of caffeine, paired with L-theanine to flatten the volatility. No sugar, so no afternoon drawdown. The formulation is boring on purpose, the way good infrastructure is boring on purpose.
We priced it like an instrument because it behaves like one: predictable coupon, known duration, settles instantly. You are not buying a beverage. You are taking a position on your own output, and the carry is positive.
Term sheet
§ 02 · COMPARABLES| Metric | CARRY | Energy can | Sugary cold brew | Pre-workout |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Caffeine (mg) | 200 | 80 | 205 | 320 |
| Sugar (g) | 0 | 27 | 34 | 2 |
| Crash risk | None | High | Severe | Mod. |
| Desk acceptability | MD-grade | Intern | Analyst | HR flag |
| Dignity retained | 100% | 40% | 55% | 12% |
| All-in / unit | $4.00 | $3.50 | $6.75 | $2.10 |
Comparables are illustrative and reflect a representative basket as observed on the trading floor. CARRY does not make a market in dignity. Past hydration is not indicative of future hydration.
Return profile
§ 03Focus, annualized
Sustained attention from open to close, with theanine smoothing the curve so you don't spike and dump.
Time recovered
No 3pm coffee run, no line at the lobby cart, no small talk you have to expense in social capital.
Optionality on the gym
Clean enough to take pre-lift, mild enough that 6am spin doesn't feel like a margin call.
Status, repriced
A can that reads as taste, not as a vice. The label does the talking; you don't have to.